I hate being sappy. It’s something I try to avoid. However, after watching Ken Burns’ Civil War documentary, for the 100th time, yesterday, I find myself in the very sappy mood I loathe. Towards the end of part one, Sullivan Ballou’s letter, to his wife Sarah, is read very eloquently. Perhaps the most famous and heart rending letter ever written home during war, it exemplifies a simpler time – one which a written letter took the place of a phone call or email.
Sullivan Ballou was born in Smithfield, Rhode Island on March 28, 1829 to Hiram and Emeline Ballou. A graduate of Brown University he would study law at the National Law School and was admitted to the Rhode Island bar. He would be elected to the Rhode Island House of Representatives.
With the outbreak of the Civil War, Ballou would be appointed major of the 2d Rhode Island Infantry. Mustering into Federal service in June 1861, Ballou and the 2d Rhode Island would depart Providence on June 19 and head for Camp Sprague, Washington City. On July 16 Ballou would leave Washington to engage the enemy in Northern Virginia. Prior to leaving Camp Sprague, he would write the following letter to his wife.
July the 14th, 1861
Camp Clark, Washington
My very dear Sarah:
The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days – perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write again, I feel impelled to write a few lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more….
I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans on the triumph of the Government and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution. And I am willing – perfectly willing – to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt….
Sarah my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me unresistibly on with all these chains to the battle field.
The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them for so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when, God willing, we might still have lived and loved together, and seen our sons grown up to honorable manhood, around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me – perhaps in the wafted prayer of my little Edgar, that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battle field, it will whisper your name. Forgive my many faults and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have often times been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness….
But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and fit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the gladdest days and in the darkest nights…. always, always, and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath, as the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by. Sarah do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again….
As for my little boys, they will grow as I have done, and never know their father’s love and care. Little Willie is too young to remember me long, and my blue-eyed Edgar will keep my frolics with him among the dimmest memories of his childhood. Sarah, I have unlimited confidence in your maternal care and your development of their characters. Tell my two mothers, his and hers, I call God’s blessing on them. O Sarah, I wait for you there! Come to me, and lead thither my children.
Sullivan(i)
Less than one week after writing Sarah, Ballou would be killed at the First Battle of Manassas. The letter had not been mailed. It was found in his trunk after his death. It would be delivered to Sarah by Rhode Island Governor William Sprague.
(i) The Civil War, at PBS.org was used to research this article.
